Hi, Pearl here! Thanks to Millie’s excellent tuition I am now a thoroughly sophisticated and literate Greyhound in my own right, so I’d like to tell you a bit about Annabelle’s work in progress.
In the third book of the Bad Boy Wizard series, Charlie (the Bad Boy of the title) visits the Cosmic Dustbin. This is the part of the astral plane where Bad Ideas live – everything from plastic packaging to wicked war weapons, not to mention all manner of evil pranks and scams.
Here Charlie meets the Cosmic Trickster, lounging on a MFC (Made For Christmas) sofa. MFC sofas are specially designed to fall apart after a year so humans can have the pleasure of buying a new couch every Christmas.
Not my image
I get very attached to a cosy couch, so naturally I want it to last. I can’t understand people who replace their sofa every year. In my view, a couch that goes wrong after one year is a really rubbish idea, and definitely belongs in the Cosmic Dustbin.
What would you put in the Cosmic Dustbin? Maybe you could ask your kids what they would put in – it would really help Annabelle with her book.
I hope you have a fabulous Yuletide, whatever you’re sitting on!
Santa Pearl pic Debra Allen Photography
The Literate Lurcher 
Dear Pearl,
I would put all forms of doilies and other extraneous, frilly bits which live on furniture in the Cosmic Dustbin. Also, include antimacassars which although not necessarily frilly, are nonetheless made by crochet ( a very alarming hobby designed to induce ocd) and they overly complicate chairs and sofas. And have a very silly name.
AX
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Yes indeed – I’ve often wondered what a macassar is. X
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A macassar is a substance used to oil or grease hair to make it stay in place. Yuk Animacassars seem to have kept up with the times…..as people tend not to apply grease to their hair before lounging about on sofas any more, there would be no need to anti the macassar. But clever antimacassars insist they still have a function…as a “decoratve ornament” for furniture. I hope not too many get thrown into the Cosmic Dustbin at once, as the overload of grease, hair, and crochet may cause a Cosmic Blockage which may necessitate a special spoon.
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Whenever we go to Cardiff for Christmas, the furniture is strewn with doilies. Pearl always throws them on the floor – I think she has the right idea!
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Do people really replace their sofas every year??!!
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You would think so, the way they ramp up the furniture ads every autumn – ‘Order it now and it’ll be ready in time for Christmas!’
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Madness!
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Hello Annabelle and Pearl, your first Christmas without Millie, I hope it won’t be too sad, I’m sure there will be lots of happy memories x
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Christmas was OK, but yes, we did miss dear Millie. xx
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Hey Pearl, I’m teaching 5th grade now and we’re on Christmas break. Once we return to school, I’ll ask the children to write about what they would throw away. I’ll pass along the info as soon as I have it.
Vanessa
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This is a great idea! Thank you so much. 🙂
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