Things I’ll Never Say When I’m Old Part 2: Millie’s List

“I’m getting too slow for zoomies on the beach.”

“Why chase rabbits when we get perfectly good meals at home?”

Femme Fatale“These young bitches can be so unladylike.”

“In my day we only got leftovers to eat.”

“Since when did dogs need psychologists?”

bef10f947d4fd653cab42a76ce0a9f57“I remember when a dog had to work for a living.”

“I seem to live in the vet’s these days.”

“Poo bags? What’s that all about?”

Beautiful Millie 3“When I was a pup, dogs did not wear coats.”

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

What d'you mean, "when" you get old?

What d’you mean, “when” you get old?

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Message from Annabelle: Things I’ll Never Say When I’m Old

If you ever hear me saying any of these things, please feel free to kick my ass:

“I’m *****-****!” (*Whatever massive age I am, announced proudly, with a flourish)

“When you get to my age, all you do is go to funerals.”

“Old age doesn’t come alone.” (Followed by graphic description of ailments)

spinster-156097_1280“No one wants you when you’re old.”

“I don’t understand all this new-fangled modern technology.”

“I remember when all this was fields.”

“I don’t know what the world’s coming to.”

“All this pop music is just noise.”

“Young people today have no respect.”

“I’m too old to try new things.”

“If I’m still here next year…”

“Why are young people always glued to their phones?”

“What exactly is the point of Pokemon?”

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Too Many Pee-Mails

We storyhounds are an invaluable resource for writers of fairy tales, fantasy and the supernatural because we can astral project to other dimensions and bring back vital nuggets of information.

Astral grey

Working alone, a single storyhound – or even a pair – can only gather a certain amount of material, so it’s important to exchange information with other hounds working in the same field. That’s where pee-mails come in.

M and P in Ilston Woods 2

We build our network by subscribing to messages from other storyhounds with similar interests. We pick up the pee-mails when we’re out and about, and pass the information on to our author humans via smellepathy.

When Annabelle was writing Gateway to Magic and The Slapstyx, we gathered facts about fairies…

Ilston May 005

…and mermaids.Hovis 003

Now Annabelle is writing a supernatural story, we’ve started following hounds who explore the spirit world.Graveyard Fairy

Lately, though, we’ve run into difficulties. We’re following so many storyhounds that our pee-mail inbox is overflowing and we have to check virtually every blade of grass. It’s all too easy to be distracted by material that has no connection with our specialist subject, and we’re even getting messages from dogs who just want to sell us stuff.

I'm sure this is spam

I’m sure this is spam

This deluge of pee-mail slows down our walks considerably. It also slows down Annabelle’s writing as it takes so long to sift out the relevant information for her research.

Ilston Cwm 009Ilston Cwm 003Ilston Cwm 019

 So our message to the dogosphere is, don’t feel bad if we don’t follow you. It doesn’t mean we don’t like you, but there are only so many pee-mails we can read in a day.

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On Muses And Lurcher Love

Pearl and I aren’t getting enough attention from Annabelle at the moment. She still makes a fuss of us and attends to our daily needs, but we can tell her mind is on her new book. We try to help with her research by passing on our knowledge of the astral planes, but we can’t write the whole story – that’s down to her muse.

Annabelle says her muse is like a small boy – difficult to wake up, but nonstop action when he gets going, full of fun and mischief. He loves a good laugh, and Annabelle knows she won’t go far wrong if she ‘follows the funny’ when she’s writing.

We think Annabelle’s muse is like a sighthound – a lazy couch potato most of the time, but there’s no stopping it when it’s chasing something interesting. Our friends Snip and Freda are prime examples of this, especially Snip, who can cover immense distances when he’s chasing birds. Even the crows are impressed and love to egg him on.

Annabelle’s photography skills don’t stretch to capturing Snip and Freda in full flow, but their human Alain has sent us a lovely photo of them in couch potato mode.

Lurcher Love

Lurcher Love

Pearl and I have had to accept they’re an item now. I think Pearl must be growing up at last – she and Freda can finally share a couch without World War Three breaking out!

Freda and Pearl

We’d like to thank Lucy of BlondeWriteMore for being our ‘muse’ for this post 

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The Naiad Nymphs – Elemental Water Fairies

Fun facts from a fellow fairy fan!

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Silver Threading ~ Fairy Whisperer ~

The Naiad Clan of fairies features prominently in my first novel, The Swamp Fairy. A quick look at Greek mythology shares that the Naiads, who are female spirits, are the nymphs that lived near water.

Nymphs are considered elemental beings or mythic creatures. They correspond to the elements found in antiquity: earth, water, air, and fire.

The Naiad nymphs are the fairies that controlled the waters of fountains, wells, springs, streams, brooks and other bodies of fresh water. explains:

“The nymphs were immortal, minor divinities who were invited to attend the assemblies of the gods on Mount Olympus.

The Naiad Nymphs were often classified by their domain:
PEGAIAI were the Naiad nymphs of the springs;
KRENAIAI, the Naiads of fountains;
POTAMEIDES, the Naiads of rivers & streams;
LIMNADES and LIMNATIDES, Naiads of the lakes;
HELEIONOMAI, the Naiad Nymphs of marshes and wetlands.”

A Naiad by John William Waterhouse…

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Millie Waxes Lyrical

Astral greyListen to the colours of your mind

Leave your small anxieties behind

Open up your heart and you will find

You’re dreaming

Live streaming

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Why Are People So Bored?

Annabelle has started writing a new book. It’s about magic (of course!) and ghosts. There are loads of books about ghosts, because human beings love to be scared. We dogs can’t understand this; we hate being scared, so why do humans enjoy it so much?

We suspect it’s because they’re bored.


Humans will do anything to avoid boredom. Take food, for instance. We dogs like simple food and as long as it’s fresh and tasty we don’t care what it looks like. But human chefs are constantly under pressure to produce fancy-looking meals with fancy-sounding names, like chocolate soil, pea air, and dehydrated milk foam. I mean, what is that all about? Do these things actually taste good? And the portions are titchy! All that work for something a dog could demolish in one bite!asparagus-350673_1280

When humans aren’t prettifying their food, they’re manipulating their own appearance. Some will go to great effort to lose weight or build stupid great muscles they don’t even need, while others make holes in themselves or cover their bodies with tattoos.


As a dog, I find it hard to understand why any living creature would choose to have a tatt. Pearl had one forced on her in her racing days. She quite likes it now because she thinks it makes her look cool, but she once told me it hurt terribly when she first had it done and no way would she go through it again.

Pearl's tatt

Another sign of human boredom is their love of bizarre scientific studies. One bunch of boffins spent two years studying dogs doing their business and concluded that they “prefer to excrete with the body being aligned along the North-south axis under calm magnetic field conditions” – but they couldn’t explain why. I’m sure I can’t tell them, and I’m a dog. I’m certainly not aware of aligning myself with Earth’s magnetic field when I lay a ‘cable’.

Millie papped pooping

The world is a beautiful and magical place – especially at this time of year – and it’s a miracle any of us are here. Each moment is precious and exciting, and yet humans don’t seem to realise it. They spend their time seeking ever greater thrills, or complaining about things that don’t matter. It’s tragic, really.

Clyne Gardens

Why are people so bored? We think it’s because they have too much time on Earth. We don’t get long, so we make sure we appreciate every moment.


Tongue tatt image found here

Article on dog poop study found here

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