The Great Wotiff

The Great Wotiff is a monster from hell. It has long, tenacious tentacles, and if it gets its claws into you, you can end up totally paralysed.

It doesn’t start off like this. When your parents first instal it in you, it’s just there to protect you. The trouble begins when you overfeed it with imagination. For example:

• You’re thinking of going on holiday to Spain, but WOTIFF the plane crashes? Better stay home.
•  You’re thinking of getting a dog, but WOTIFF it gets ill and dies? You’ll be heartbroken! Better not get a dog.
• You’re thinking of starting a relationship with Prince Charming, but WOTIFF he turns out to be a psycho? Charmers often do! Better pie that one right now.

Once the Wotiff has got all its claws into you, you end up just sitting in a chair doing nothing. Because WOTIFF you trip and break your neck? Better stay in the chair.

The Wotiff keeps you permanently in your comfort zone. It also keeps you permanently useless and depressed.

If you want a life, DON’T FEED THE WOTIFF. Use your imagination for something more creative.