Have you ever wondered why you can go to bed with perfectly tidy hair and yet wake up in the morning looking like you’ve swapped heads with Worzel Gummidge? Maybe you thought it was down to tossing and turning in your sleep. But look again. Can mere tossing and turning really explain such a hideous mess?
Of course not. The real cause is much more sinister. You’ve been a victim of THE GOBLIN HAIRDRESSER.
This loathsome creature sneaks into your home at night armed with an array of instruments designed to ruin your day from the outset. While you sleep, he washes your hair in cat pee and conditions it with slug slime. Then he splits every single end with his supernaturally sharp scissors. Then he dries it with a hairdryer that belts out 1000 degrees. Then he crimps and tongs it into a ludicrous construction of bulges, kinks and spikes, before backcombing it into an explosion of frizz. Finally, he smothers it in hairspray that sets like cement, ensuring you’ll waste several fruitless hours struggling to restore it to sanity…
…and he always does it the night before your have to be somewhere important, with tidy hair, first thing in the morning.
So next time you have a bad hair day, you’ll know who to blame.
The Literate Lurcher 
Yes, it explains a lot!
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I can understand now why people used to wear hair nets in bed. Not that I could ever consider wearing one, even to protect myself from goblins!
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Eye mask yes, hair net, no. But if I’d had my hair set at the hairdressers I might feel differently about it.
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I have no doubt you are right!
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I’m sure of it – it would take real skill and effort to produce such a mess!
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Oh my goodness, next time I read your posts, I need a reminder to put on lady pampers before reading. Definitely a soaking humor event!!! You are way too funnie and I just love it! You must be a fiber artist too or have some skills in that area for the goblin definitely looks like fiber art, which I do when I manage to untangle my way out of Rapunzel’s prison! No one ever told us that she was in that prison made from her own hair because it had grown so long. My significant other always tells me, “No, don’t cut your hair!” and at 77, this is getting ridiculous. I have nearly broken my arm trying to brush it out in the morning. Well, we all need good humor and this is fantastic! Thank you most kindly for a much needed belly whumper laugh!!!
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A pleasure! I cobbled that goblin together by drawing him with good old paper and pen, photographing the drawing then uploading it to a site called dreamdeeply.com, where you can put various wild effects on your photos and drawings.
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