Stuff Christmas

There are many things about humans that puzzle us dogs, one being the amount of STUFF they seem to need. Parts of Annabelle’s house are stuffed with STUFF, and she never even uses most of it – so why is it there?

A Problem Corner

The situation tends to get worse at this time of year. We know it’s a time to celebrate the start of new life, but does that have to mean buying endless new STUFF? It doesn’t stop with presents – people get Christmas bedding, Christmas tablecloths, Christmas nightwear, Christmas dresses, and deliberately hideous Christmas sweaters. We’ve even come across Christmas toilet seat covers, and special Christmas outfits for dogs –  stuff we wouldn’t be seen dead in if we had any choice in the matter. These things will only be used once a year, and in some cases once in a lifetime. It doesn’t make sense.

I asked Annabelle why she wanted yet more STUFF, and her reply was surprising:

‘I don’t want more stuff!’ she said. ‘I want to get rid of the stuff I’ve got!‘

‘So you don’t want any presents?’ I said.

‘No! All I want for Christmas is a magic wand to make it all go away!’

She is also stressing about what to buy other people. ‘Why don’t you just give them some of the stuff you don’t want?’ I suggested.

It seemed like the perfect solution, but Annabelle didn’t agree. ‘It doesn’t work like that, Millie,’ she explained. ‘You can’t give people old stuff as presents – it has to be new. If you give people old stuff they think you’re cheap.’

All I can say is, I’m glad I’m a dog and I don’t have to worry about any of this. Give me a plate of turkey and I’m happy.

That Back Room!

Note from Annabelle

I just want to point out I’m not one of those sad people you see on TV who keep buying stuff they don’t need. Half of this stuff isn’t even mine – I just seem to have become a repository for other people’s clutter. It started when I was a teen, and this woman (who shall remain nameless) kept giving me things out of her house. She would say, ‘I found this in a cupboard and thought of you.’ One item was an absolutely heinous red crocheted granny shawl no self-respecting 17-year-old would be seen dead in. I couldn’t understand why it had made her think of me. I’ve only recently worked out that people who do this aren’t being generous or thoughtful – they just want to offload their old crap.

I’d put it all in a skip today, except you’re not supposed to do that. You have to RECYCLE it, which means sorting it all out to go to different places – and who’s got time for that when there are stories to write?