Chainsaw Massacre!

Annabelle is a murderer.

She talks a lot of big talk about loving Nature and the fairies who look after it, but when it comes to the crunch, she’s not above killing trees.

Yes, that’s what I said – killing trees. Like it’s not bad enough that trees are dying from disease, without murdering perfectly healthy ones!

Those conifers were part of our little kingdom for as long as I can remember. They were here before Pearl and me. They were here before Annabelle, and she’s been here forever. They even grew into a heart shape to show us how much they loved us. But last month Annabelle hired a gang of chainsaw maniacs to cut them all down.

‘They were getting too big,’ she says. ‘I was afraid they might fall on the house or damage the power lines in a storm.’

‘We’ve had loads of storms already,’ I say. ‘The trees never did any harm.’

‘We’ve got much more light now,’ she says. ‘We can actually see the sky!’

‘We can also see the cables,’ I say. ‘They look ugly – and the garden looks a mess.’

Can you see the fairy?

‘It’ll all look better in the spring,’ says Annabelle, with forced brightness.

‘I’ve seen fourteen springs,’ I say. ‘I might not see another.’

‘Don’t be silly, of course you will. You’re starting to sound like my mother!’

I don’t argue any more – I sense she’s losing patience – but I can’t help feeling sad. Those trees contained so much life. I used to spend warm summer days lying underneath them, listening to the soothing music of the collar doves, and I loved to watch the little bats chase each other through the branches at dusk.

Now we just see the occasional dove sitting forlornly on a cable, surveying the devastation of its home town and wondering what the hell happened.

‘You can’t say you’ll miss the bird poop,’ says Annabelle. ‘Only last spring you were moaning about bird poop on your fur. And I certainly won’t miss the mess those birds used to make on the mailbox and the car…’

I tune her out. All I can say is, she’s lucky the Dryads who cared for those trees weren’t the murdering kind. They could have made the chainsaw man cut the electricity cable, which would have been very nasty for everyone concerned. As it was, they made him cut the telephone line, which got him in trouble with his boss and caused Annabelle several days’ inconvenience. They also made sure the other fairies found out what she did, and odd little things have been going wrong ever since.

She may think it’s just bad luck, but I know better. The fairies don’t forgive.

NB – due to fairy interference, Annabelle’s tech keeps going wrong so there might be a delay in responding to comments. Normal service will be resumed ASAP.