Pearl’s Power Trip

Pearl claims she’s the alpha bitch around here, but she has some odd ideas about what this entails. The alpha is supposed to look after the pack, but Pearl is only interested in looking after Number One and throwing her weight around.

Pearl's ass


For instance, there’s the job of guarding the house – a demanding job that requires a lot of time and energy. Although I’m getting on in years, Pearl leaves this exhausting task to me. As well as warning off intruders during the day, I have to make sure the house stays safe through the night while we’re all asleep indoors. This involves evening sentry duty – a half-hour stint of barking to let everyone in the area know the place is well guarded.

The only person Pearl guards the house against is me. She seems to think my place is outside – all the time. She doesn’t bark at me – Annabelle would put a stop to that – she just stands at the door, sneakily vibing me out with smellepathic signals.

Pearl on guard

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being outside, especially when spring comes and the world warms up. The air is full of birdsong and interesting new smells. There’s a spot in the front garden that’s perfect for sunbathing and I love to lie there and watch the world go by.

Millie in garden 3

But there are disadvantages to being outdoors, like wind and rain and bird poo. A lot of birds nest in the conifers near my spot – and while I enjoy the music that comes from their beaks, I don’t appreciate what comes out the other end.

Collar dove 1

Recently, the birds have been using my spot as a toilet. I ‘ve noticed a lot more poo than usual – thick, black, rubbery blobs that stick to my fur and paws. I didn’t think birds ate liquorice, but looking at their poo lately I might have to think again.

Bird's ass


Much as I love the great outdoors, there are times when I need to be inside on a clean, soft bed or a comfy chair. Alpha or no, Pearl needs to remember that I was here first, and as an old lady I deserve respect and consideration.

Alpha is not about being a bully.

NB – Human readers may think I have a fixation on bottoms, but this is normal for a dog. You can learn a lot about someone by sniffing their bottom. Try it sometime – you could save yourselves a lot of grief at the hands of con artists. The face might be telling porkies, but the bottom can’t lie.

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15 Responses to Pearl’s Power Trip

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Ah yes, the bird poo. I feel for you, Pearl because we have a lot of it in our yard too. Of course, having a bird feeder doesn’t help. But those cardinals are so pretty!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Millie, all that bird poo and Pearl trying to keep you out of the den too! Of course you deserve respect and consideration and Annabelle will make sure you get plenty!😉🐾🐾

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaha! Kiss That! Your dog has the best attitude!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha….you’re too funny, Millie! ♡(ŐωŐ人)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. celestialk1 says:

    XD haha this one kept me smiling. 🙂 Hope you’re having a good day!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. kkessler833 says:

    I’m with you! Love the outside but love the cozy indoors, too!

    Liked by 1 person

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