Message from Annabelle: Things I’ll Never Say When I’m Old

If you ever hear me saying any of these things, please feel free to kick my ass:

“I’m *****-****!” (*Whatever massive age I am, announced proudly, with a flourish)

“When you get to my age, all you do is go to funerals.”

“Old age doesn’t come alone.” (Followed by graphic description of ailments)

“No one wants you when you’re old.”

“I don’t understand all this new-fangled modern technology.”

“I remember when all this was fields.”

“I don’t know what the world’s coming to.”

“All this pop music is just noise.”

“Young people today have no respect.”

“I’m too old to try new things.”

“If I’m still here next year…”

“Why are young people always glued to their phones?”

“What exactly is the point of Pokemon?”