Dirty Dotty

Last weekend my ASBO was lifted and I was allowed to go to Sandy Lane Dog Show. Snip was officiating and he awarded me first prize for ‘Dog That Looks Most Like Their Owner’. I chose to take this as a compliment.

Dog show rosettes

Pearl couldn’t go to the Dog Show because she would have been frightened of all the noise. She didn’t appreciate being left behind.

Dog show FOMO2

I almost felt sorry for her – but not quite. She’s been insufferable lately, even more so than usual.

Like I care about your dumb rosettes!

Like I care about your dumb rosettes!

It’s all about Snip, of course. Pearl claims not to fancy him but it’s obvious she’s jealous because I’ve got a boyfriend and she hasn’t. She even tried to entice him into the ferns one day when we were out on a walk. He went with her, but only to make sure she was OK – she was pretending to hide from some perfectly harmless children. Pearl is afraid of children, but these kids were miles away and they weren’t even making that much noise.

She’s always trying to convince me Snip has a wandering eye. She’s gone on about it so much, I’m almost starting to believe it. He does like to chase pretty young Lurchers and Whippets, and I felt decidedly uneasy when his cousin Dotty came to spend a few weeks at his house.

Snip, Dotty and AlainDotty

Dotty was young…

 

 

 

 

…stunningly pretty…Dotty 2

…and a thoroughly bad influence. She loved to party all night, reducing the house to chaos. Morning would find her collapsed on the grass with makeup all over her face.

She mad ratchet!On walks Dotty was a total delinquent, ignoring commands, raiding people’s picnics, chasing the cows and rolling in their poop. (I don’t use perfume myself, but I do know a bit about it and cow just isn’t classy – the sophisticated dog favours fox or badger.) Afterwards she would hog the bathroom for hours removing the green slime from her pristine white coat. The smell would linger, of course, but it was the smell she wanted, not the slime. Green slime is never a good look.

The dirt goblins love dogs like Dotty because they do half their work for them. She always had at least three of them riding on her back, encouraging her to get down and dirty in the dung. Snip tried to keep her in order, but soon got sucked into the general delinquency.

Pearl took great delight in pointing out how well they were getting along…

Snip and Dotty 2

…until Dotty’s last day, when she and Snip had a fight. To me, this proved he had no romantic feelings for her. Pearl insisted it proved the exact opposite. I reminded her that he’s never fought with me, and Pearl said he respects me because I’m an old lady. Cheek!

She claims she only says these things for my own good, but I know better. I wish she’d stop trying to come between us.

Snip, Pearl and Millie

 

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14 Responses to Dirty Dotty

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Sounds like Pearl is having some confidence issues. Maybe she needs a canine self-help book in this area. 😉

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  2. Millie you look stunning with those prize ribbons and I’m sure your owner would be thrilled about that prize. Pearl sounds a lot like a mini fox terrier I know. She’s exactly the same around noise. She has a very jealous personality too. They make it hard for themselves don’t they? Dotty sounds like a bit of a floozy. Sorry, but it’s the truth.

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  3. Dotty has gone home now, and – somewhat suspiciously – Snip has gone on his holidays to France. Pearl is convinced they’re living it up together in Gay Paree 😀

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  4. Congrats on the rosettes!
    ASBO??
    Do continue to ignore Pearl. She is just totally jealous.
    Dotty, Dotty, Dotty… What youngsters won’t do for attention.
    Melinda

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  5. Ah yes, the ASBO. It will always be a source of shame. I went off the rails a bit when I was younger, but now I’m pleased to say I’m older, wiser, generally more chilled and (mostly) well-behaved around other dogs. 😉

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  6. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Annabelle Franklin has her hands full with romantic triangles of a greyhound variety.. love it.

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  7. I found your lovely blog through you first reblog on Smorgasborg – which is also a great blog to read.

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  8. Thank you so much for visiting and following us! 🙂 We love Sally’s blog too – she’s so generous with her space.

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  9. Kev says:

    Delightful! 😀

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  10. Yes, Dotty was delightfully dirty! 😉

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  11. Thank you – though I don’t think the humans thought Dotty was cute when they had to wash her after every walk! 😉

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