Message from Pearl: Millie’s Midlife Crisis

Hi, it’s Pearl here, the world’s most gorgeous Greyhound!

I’m on blog duty while Millie recovers from a bout of extreme overindulgence. She’s been acting like a right skangrel lately, robbing Mollie’s dinner and necking salmon oil like it’s going out of fashion. The fish oil abuse made her sick in the end, so Annabelle has made her quit it. I don’t know why she’s started behaving like a teenage delinquent, I can only put it down to some sort of midlife crisis.

We’ve been visiting Mollie a lot since darling Owain crossed the Rainbow Bridge. There’s an Owain-shaped hole in Mollie’s house now. (I know I flirt with all the boys, but Owain was special!) Mollie’s humans think she gets lonely in the day while they’re out at work, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate our visits. Maybe it’s because Millie polishes off her food every time we’re there.

Mollie is a dog who takes herself very seriously and has definite rules about how dogs should behave. Rambunctious running and boisterous bouncing are definite no-no’s in her book, and are reprimanded with bossy barking and naggy neck-nipping. She will only go for a walk if her humans are present, and if we try to tempt her with the lead we get the DEATH STARE.

Rumour has it Mollie once tried for a career in the police force and was turned down. She even pointed out that she has a blue coat so they wouldn’t have to provide a uniform, but they insisted they don’t use Lurchers. Her pointy nose was well out of joint and I don’t think she’s ever recovered.

Annabelle is having work done on our house at the moment, which involves a lot of hammering and banging – and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s noise. At least Mollie’s house is quiet, and our visits get Annabelle away from the computer. Annabelle spends far too much time online and I’m sure it’s not good for her. The World Wide Web is aptly named – we dogs are psychic and can actually see a network of grey fibres creeping out of the computer and wrapping her up in a cocoon – to us, she looks like a dying fly. It’s such a relief when she manages to tear herself free and take us out.

Mollie’s garden is a peaceful place where a stressed human can let the cobwebs blow away…

…and a greedy dog can recover from a pig-out.

I hope Millie sorts herself out soon – this blogging business is hard work!