All I can say is, the dogs ain’t the only ones in this house who are barking. It’s really embarrassing to be called ‘my little mivvet’ in public – and she has other names for me that are too cringeworthy to bear repeating.
Another annoying thing she does is sing songs she’s made up herself. She’s not the world’s best lyricist, and her singing makes me want to pull my own ears off and bury them. Here is a song she made up about Pearl ‘skanking’ food:
“Pearl’s a sinner/She stands up when she’s stealing the dinner / Off the worktop / Pearl’s a sinner / An accomplished food thief and dustbinner / She’ll take her sister’s favourite chew / And her favourite biscuits too / She is shameless / Her legs look just like Betty Grable’s / When she stands up with her paws on the table / Wolfing down the food I left there by mistake / Food that was meant to last for a week.”
This masterpiece is sung to a tune from the dark ages when Annabelle was a pup.